


we could do it (you and i)

by moondustis



Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F, First Love, Friends to Lovers, Idols, Trainee
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:49:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25134166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moondustis/pseuds/moondustis
Summary: This is not a story about how your dreams came true or how you find your true passion, no. This is a story about how you met her. Even in the chaos of it all, Seulgi was always the one you would end up with.
Relationships: Kang Seulgi/Reader
Kudos: 27





	we could do it (you and i)

**Author's Note:**

> song rec: a world alone - lorde / sofia - clairo

Is there a way to know exactly when a moment that will change your life happens? You remember very well the day were it all began, the starting point, but maybe at the time you didn’t know how big it was.

You were in your very last year of high school, not the best student and too uninterested about the world around you, when you got approached by some woman on the street that asks what you want to do when you graduate. It hits you then that you have no idea, never thought deeply about it and now what felt like a very far reality, was staring at you right in the face, about to explode. 

All you wanted was to go home and forget about your future, have a good cry that lasts about and think that you are about to fail your entire existence but the lady offers you a better alternative, clearly unphased by your lack of response.

“Would you be interested in auditioning for an entertainment agency?” She asks and it’s a little suspicious, too out of nowhere but you accept the card she gives you, emptily promising to show up at an audition that was taking place next week somewhere you had know idea how to get to. She explains how it’s one of the big three entertainments and that they are looking for young girls to being training from scratch. A rare opportunity, she calls it. 

For some reason you decide to do it and when the day comes you take the subway to the location she had said, finding hundreds of girls there, all of them probably ten times more beautiful and prepared than you but still, for some reason, you make in.

It’s sudden and terrifying how that changes everything and how it feels weirdly like luck. You were never one to believe in things such as destiny, but it feels like it. That’s the only way you find to justify what happens. 

And now, this is not a story about how your dreams came true and how you find your true passion, no. This is a story about how you met her. About how it starts and how it ends. 

✿

There’s a storm happening that makes the whole sky dark with grey clouds and you’re sure it’s accompanied by thunders, but you can’t hear anything over the loud music playing in the room you’re in.

You had arrived at the SM Entertainment building at eight, your mother glued by your side as your hands got clammy with the anxiety that still bubbled in your chest despite already being accepted. There were a lot of papers to sign, instructions that they made sure you knew how to follow and bureaucracies that you tried to wrap your young head around but got a little confused by. 

At 10am, a woman is introduced by you as the manager in charge of your trainee group. She looks young enough to still be a college student, but when she speaks there’s seriousness to it. 

“The rooms are separated by schedules.” She explains, handing you a paper with what you assume is the schedule you’ll be following. “There’s four girls by room and one assigned leader that is in charge of making sure you stay on schedule.”

You mostly nod and ask few questions about things like food and showers, which she gives you short and direct answers to. She only cracks a smile when telling you about curfews and reminiscences stories about trainees that got caught outside after hours, making sure you know to not do the same.

When she shows you around the small dorm, you feel a little sad, like homesickness is already settling in your stomach. The room you are staying is has two bunk beds and a lot of things sprawled around, like hair brushes, clothes and plushies. “I would recommend keeping your things organized to avoid fights about stolen things.” Is the only thing she says about the mess as you set your things down on your bed.

There’s not even enough time to process all the informations that are thrown your way, because right after you leave the dorm and she takes you to the building where most of your training would be taking place. 

You’ve never been one for superstition, but it’s an important day, the most important day that has happened in your life so far, and you can’t help but think that maybe the storm still happening outside is a sign, that maybe things won’t work out and that you’re not good enough to be here. Because there’s about fifteen girls dancing in the room while you stand feeling out of place and they’re all so good that it makes you feel extremely small.

There’s a bright blue wall with clouds on it right behind the girls, such a huge contrast to the storm happening that you decide that it’s probably a sign too, for your own peace of mind. Of what exactly, you are not sure yet.

When the song stops playing, the manager clears her throat and all the girls, who are reaching for water bottles and moving to sit on the floor, turn their heads to her.

“Girls, this is the new trainee, ___.” She introduces you. “Please look after her and make sure she’s well adapted. Seulgi, Seungwan and Hyerim, she will be staying in your room so I’m sure you girls will do your best to help with the schedule.”

They all say yes in unison and you can see a bit of nonchalant in their faces, even a bit annoyance, like they are tired of new trainees being introduced. Like they are tired of getting more competition.

The manager leaves and you’re left there, standing awkwardly not knowing exactly what to do with yourself but stare at the fake blue sky. The girls have moved on to talking in small groups or just stirring completely on the floor, trying to get a minute of relaxing before they have to move on with more practicing.

“Hey, __.” The sudden sound of your name gets you out of your trance, eyes following the source of it. “Come and sit here.”

The girl talking has a gentle face and there are three other girls around her, two of them laying on their stomachs and watching something on a cellphone. The third is smiling at you, eyes turning into crescents and you’re stunned by how cute she looks.

“It’s nice to meet you, I’m Seungwan.” The girl says when you sit down, crossing your legs and keeping a straight posture. “And this is Seulgi, we are your roommates.”

Seulgi, the girl that was smiling at you, mutters a small hello. You wonder for a second if she has been trained to look so friendly and comfortable.

“Hello, it’s nice to meet you too.” Is what you reply awkwardly with. Making friend had never been your strength, not when girls always looked so intimidating. 

“We have vocal practice in like 20 minutes, and then we can have lunch.” Seulgi tells you, stretching her arms up and making the large t-shirt she wore ride up in the process. You try not to stare.

“The vocal teacher is a bitch so don’t take it personally if she says anything to you.” Wendy adds and it’s the first time that you laugh over the day, which makes you feel grateful.

The vocal teacher does end up hurting your feelings, but you don’t care that much because the other girls pat you in the back and tell you’ll improve with time.

In the weeks that follow, it’s hard getting used to the routine they set for you. You wake up at 5am, usually with Seungwan nudging your shoulder and telling you to go shower. Then, you eat what they’ll allow for breakfast and walk to the practice building with your new roommates. It’s a repetitive schedule most of the days: dance, english classes, vocal teaching and more dance.

Doesn’t help that you can’t train with the girls you share a room with, because being from the build up program you have to learn the basics before you get to actually start following the same schedules as the girls that have been training for longer.

You end everyday exhausted and most of them wanting to cry, because it only gets harder and your legs don’t do exactly what you want them to, and your voice cracks sometimes and you feel like you’ll never be good enough. But sometimes, the times that make it worth it, the girls gather together in the living room and order takeout food without any of the managers knowing. Or one of them gives you a facemask just because she had an extra one and tells you how pretty your skin looks. Small things like that make it better.

It’s a slow process but you become closer to the girls, and at night when you miss home just a little bit more than usual, it comforts you that you have at least made friends over this. 

And after a month, when you finally finish your basic training and can move on to training with the other girls they all cheer for you, teasing about how the baby had grown up too fast and congratulating you for improving so fast. It makes it all worth it.

✿

Seulgi becomes a strong presence in your life. One day she wakes you up with an annoying song on her phone that stays in your head for the rest of the day. Another one, she asks if you want to have eggs for breakfast with her, and naturally you start eating together every day, peeling the sweet potatoes together before you have to leave for early morning dance practice.

On your one month anniversary of being a trainee, after you move to normal training, she gives you a funny card that says with a corny cursive font ‘Congrats on not giving up’ that you keep glued to a wall next to your bed. By the third month since you joined the company, you two are making jokes and sharing headphones on every break you manage to get.

It’s natural how you two become close. Like she says, it feels like it was meant to be all along. You became friends with all the other girls, sharing a dorm has the power of bringing people together, even amongst the fights over who has to wash the dishes and having your periods synced up to happen at the same time. 

But even in the chaos of it all, Seulgi is always the one you would end up with. You have more in common that you would ever imagine and the conversation never seems to run short, and like some teachers say, if you weren’t out of breath during dance practices, they are sure the two of you would find a way to talk even there.

On free days you watch movies on a tiny phone screen, usually romantic ones that leave Seulgi sighing and with eyes sparkling while you just roll yours at the cheesiness. She calls you frozen heart because of that. Sometimes you’ll draw together, her teaching you about pointillism and you teaching her about watercolor and its wonders.

It’s amazing having a friend like that on a place like this, you often think. It’s almost a survival technique, having someone to rely on when practice goes on for extra hours, when you make a mistake and the world seems to fall upon you. It’s as if Seulgi came into your life to make it easier, to be the one that was meant to be by your side when things just got a little too complicated. 

As for training, it continues getting harder and the thought of giving up crosses your mind more than two times.

“I’m so tired.” Seulgi complains as she plops down on the couch next to you. It’s one of the improvements they made on the dance practices rooms over the years to make rest time more comfortable.

“Me too, I wish I could take a 12 hours nap.” You whine back, feeling exhausting beginning to slowly creep in. 

She snorts. “That’s not even a nap anymore, it’s almost a small coma.”

“I said what I said.”

“You know what we should do?” She asks, voice mischievous, moving down to unlace her shoes and take them off along her socks “Not we, you actually. You should give me a foot massage.”

Her voice is joyful and playful as she puts both her legs on your lap and you do a whole scene of gagging and trying to push her away but not really meaning it. 

“No way i’m massaging your stinky feet.” You joke and she pokes her tongue out at you.

“Shut up!” Her offended half shout makes you laugh. “My feet smell like roses and baby wipes, mind you.”

You bite your lips to avoid the smile that’s trying to spread on your face, doing your best to look unimpressed. “I doubt that profoundly, you just danced for 3 hours.”

“Pretty please,___, my angel from above.” She pouts, voice annoyingly high pitched and feet wiggling in your face. “Gimme a foot massage.”

You both burst out laughing after that, her silly cutesy voice too stupid for you to handle and the other trainees around give you both weird looks.

You end up doing it, of course. There’s not many things you wouldn’t do for Seulgi, and you know it’s the same for her. That makes you think again, that even with all the hard moments of this whole thing, she makes it worth it.

✿

When your birthday comes around, Seulgi takes you to an empty cupboard she found on the 4th floor. It’s small and smells slightly like cleaning products, but still cozy enough for you both to sit down on the floor and lay your backs against the wall.

She smiles deviously at you, had been planning a surprise all week that didn’t take long for you to figure out because it’s hard to keep secrets when you are with someone most of the time. Her silly actions helped on giving it away as well. 

“Close your eyes.” She whispers, the smallest resquice of a laugh in her voice. You know what’s inside the bag she had brought along, it’s too predictable, but you still close your eyes because you know that’ll make her happy. And hell, maybe you’re a little excited about the whole thing too.

You hear the crumpling as she opens the bag and then what you think are attempts to light up a candle. There was really too much effort put into this, with her sneaking out to buy this cake after practice, and you shouldn’t think too much about it but there’s still a weird feeling in the pit of your stomach, and your hands are shaking just slightly. 

When she finally tells you to open your eyes they are met with her perfect smile and a infamous overly colorful slice of cake with a number “3” candle on top placed in front of you two. It’s a cute cake, with sprinkles and a single strawberry. “Happy birthday!” She exclaims, and it’s adorable how excited she is about this. It makes you want to cry. “Congrats on turning 3 years old, you don’t look a year older.”

You scoff, letting out a laugh that mimics her as you nudge her arm. “Shut up. Why did you even get this candle?”

“I’m sorry that it was the only one available at the store.” She says, gesturing to the cake. “Now stop complaining and blow your candles so we can eat.”

When you go to blow them, she hurriedly tells you to not forget your wish and you just roll your eyes. You don’t believe in stuff like that, never did, but still you can’t help but wish for something as simple as more good days like this when you close your eyes.

It’s funny how celebrating your birthday in a cupboard with Seulgi makes you the happiest you had been in months. The way she thought about all these tiny details, from the cake to the stupid candle, makes your heart melt and once again you get the weird feeling in your stomach. A feeling that is not new, and that you think has just been growing bigger and bigger from that stormy day to now. 

After you blow the candle you two eat the slice of cake in comfortable silence, mouths turning pink from the colored glacé and sprinkles melting into sugar in your tongues. It’s hard hiding how hungry you both are with the crazy diets they’ve been putting you on and this cake is like paradise compared to the sweet potatoes you eat religiously.

“That was the best cake in the world.” Is what you mutter after your last bite and Seulgi looks just as pleased as you are.

“Yeah, artificial strawberry flavor is my favorite now.” She says and your eyes automatically go to her lips, noticing how they are slightly more pink than usual from the cake. 

She must have been doing the same as you because she suddenly moves closer, knees touching yours. “You have something here.” Her voice is soft as she says it.

It happens very slowly and very quick at the same time. She moves to remove the glacé from your lips with her thumb, bringing it to her mouth and licking it clean like something that only happens on the stupid dramas she watched. You can’t look away, amazed by the whole act but, still, when she tells you to close your eyes again, you do in a heartbeat. 

You can feel as she gets closer and in another heartbeat she’s kissing you, just the press of her lips to yours gently. Then it’s a million heartbeats, so fast you think your heart will burst out of your chest.

It feels new and like everything you wished for, like it was supposed to happen. It feels like the butterflies that were secretly living in your stomach this whole time are finally free, but still completely at her mercy.

She giggles when she breaks the kiss and you can’t help but do the same, both your cheeks as pink as the cake. 

✿

No one could ever know, that’s something you both agree on. And there’s not a need to tell anyone after all, having this as your own safe heaven is what you want, because if someone were to know you are sure that would mean the end, with not only hearts shattered but dreams as well.

Keeping it a secret is easy, more than you ever would think it could be. You two had always been close, so the too long and unnecessary touches are ignored and the nights slept in each other’s bed not a thing anyone frowned upon. What changes is that now she will press soft kiss against your lips when everyone is asleep on the quiet of the night, that the two of you will sneak out and hide in the cleaning cupboard and touch until there’s not a trace of skin unknow, until there’s only gasps and soft noises filling the room. 

It’s what first love should be like, you think. With the butterflies and lingering eyes, the need to be close, the complete and absolute adoration and just blindly trusting someone with something as fragile as a heart. But at the same time it’s the fear of being caught, of not knowing if it’s right or wrong and not really wanting to know. 

“What’s your zodiac sign?” You ask her out of nowhere one day, when you’re both sitting on your bed. Seulgi is taking full advantage of your pillow, legs on your lap while you are sat with you back against the wall.

It’s finally a day off, a very awaited one and you’re enjoying it inside because of a sudden rainstorm while some of the girls went out anyway because they had waited for too long. The dorm is relatively quiet because of that and no one bothers the two of you.

“I’m an aquarius, why?” She replies, sneaking a glance at you and raising one eyebrow. “Are you gonna make a compatibility test?”

You roll your eyes at her teasing. “No. I was reading about this thing called astrocartography and I wanna do it for you. Now tell me the hour you were born in.”

She tells you the hour while moving closer so she can see your phone screen and what you’re doing. “See, these are your lines and each of them represents a planet.” You explain when the results show up on the screen. “Like for example, mars is the planet of war, right? So in the places the mars line is crossing is possible that you’d have some kind of conflict.”

“Oh, there’s a lot of lines here.” She says, snatching your phone from your hands and using a finger to zoom in on the continents “What’s the purple one for? There’s one that passes right through Seoul.”

“It’s the venus line,” You say as she puts her head on her shoulder,” it represents love and the possibility of finding a lover. Something like that.”

She grins widely. “And I happened to have found you just here.” Her voice is teasing and you can’t help but laugh at the way she raises her eyebrows suggestively at you, pinching her sides playfully.

“You’re so silly.” you say before moving and pressing a peck to her lips. She takes it as a cue to do more than that.

Dropping the phone, she moves a hand to your cheek as she kisses you with a little more force but soft as always. She tastes like the chocolate you two shared earlier and the way her lips move against yours makes your mind go blank of any thoughts but the ones of her.

You like kissing her like this, when it’s not rushed and you can take your time sucking her bottom lip before your tongues are meeting in a slow pace. 

“What would you say if I told you I’m in love with you?” She asks, a little out of breath after breaking the kiss and looking at you.

You blink slowly, looking at her and you think no one in the world would ever look as good as she does with rosy cheeks and puffy lips. “I would say i’m in love with you too, dummy.” You whisper, moving a strand of her hair out of her face. “You know that.”

“Well, you never said it.” She pouts and you giggle.

“If I said it as much as I want to you would be annoyed with me by now.” 

She giggles and tells you that she’ll never be, while pressing butterfly kisses all over your face.

✿

After four years of training with a group of 20 girls you get assigned into groups. Sooyoung, Seungwan, Joohyun, Seulgi and you. It’s exciting and you’re all tricked into the feeling of hope, getting a group name, a concept, stage names and endless more hours of practice.

The training gets harder somehow, 10 hours a day, 1, 2, 3 and step. 1, 2, 3 and lay down for a minute because you can barely feel your legs at this point. By the end of april you have the group’s greeting stuck in your head and are closer to the the ideal weight they set for you, your mind filled with the prospect of finally making it. 

The next month Seulgi is announced as an official SM Rookie alongside Irene and they’re beyond entranced by how good just the small taste of a debut feels, following a different schedule from the rest of you and when you search their name on the internet there’s a sea of of praise and comments on how exciting their official debut is going to be. It’s a good start and it makes all of you excited. 

You get closer to Sooyoung than ever, having become her roomate in the new dorm you five moved in. Irene and Seulgi shared a room, since their schedules fit together and Seungwan had the privilege of sleeping alone. It was still like the old dorm, with messes all around and the close friendship you all carried. 

But sometimes, just sometimes, you get the strange feeling that Seulgi is slipping away from you. Even if most nights she slides in your bed and kisses your worries away. 

Still it’s weird when you go days without seeing each other and a tension sets in the air, one that makes you sick to your stomach if you think about it too much. 

✿

On the 27th of july, Red Velvet debuts with an exciting and colorful song. It’s a bit shaky, some mistakes here and there, but still a success as expected from a SM group.

Two weeks before that you walk inside an all white office and a man tells you that because of some internal issues and their thorough analysis, you won’t be a part of the group anymore. When you question what the issues were, they point out that relationship between female trainees were not allowed as it could affect the performance. 

He explains how they found out about everything, from another trainee apparently, and can’t risk a scandal because of it, so the best solution was keeping the two of you apart from each other. His tone extremely professional and when he adds that even if you won’t be making into the group they still have exciting plans for you in the future, you feel like punching him in the face.

It’s was lie. A blatant and well executed lie, you tell yourself as you throw cold water in your face to try and calm yourself down. Crying in a bathroom is not by far the most humiliating moment you had in the last four years but it is definitely the one you felt the most vulnerable and broken.

You know the full choreography to the damn song and every word to it, your hair tips colored an annoying shade of purple that you absolutely hated stare back at you in the mirror and when you click on the video of Red Velvet’s exciting comeback, you’re not there.

Seulgi has little to no time to see you after the debut, she calls and makes promises and apologizes and cries with you. In the back of your head you know this is not her fault and you know she’s angry and sad too, but still you feel no comfort in her words like you used to. It’s like she becomes someone very far away that you can’t reach anymore.

Training goes from hard to unbearable. The looks you get from the other trainees makes you want to rip your hair out of your head, pity or mockery, whatever it is sets you in reclusion and from there your days are a blur of waking up, practice and sleeping. 

When you look at the card glued to your wall, the cursive words ‘Congrats on not giving up’ seem to laugh at you.

You see her again a few day later. and she cries with you in the empty cupboard as you tell her you’re proud of how great she’s doing. You don’t have much time, you know it, there’s probably a show she had to attend or something like that.

She doesn’t know the truth yet, the real reason why you’re not in the stage with her. They probably told her a lie, used those pretty words about internal issues, because the truth would upset her too much, and the last thing they needed was an rookie unable to perform her best false positivity.

“I’m so sorry.” She sniffs. It bothers you profoundly because it’s not her fault. You both know that.

“It’s okay.” And it’s not, you both know that too.

It feels like everything is melting away when she kisses you, like it’s escaping your fingers and you can’t grasp it anymore. This is over too, and it hurts. It hurts so much that you stop feeling it.

When she says she has to go, you nod, with promises of taking care of yourself and not giving up on your lips. There’s also a promise to see each other soon, and it’s empty as every other one.

✿

You keep in touch with half hearted texts of “how are doing” and “thought of you today”. She apologizes a lot, for taking too long to reply, for not being able to make it to lunch with you again. All you do is tell her it’s okay and that you understand.

She’s busy, you understand that and are very well aware of it because it’s all over social media and the TV. Red velvet is the next big SM success and they are unstoppable.

Kim Yerim makes into the group after two years of training and for their second comeback. It’s bittersweet. More bitter than sweet, because as much as you like her and she’s cute and suits the group well, it’s still like a punch to your face.

They get their first tv show win with ice cream cake and the managers throw a little party on the old practice room to celebrate it. The thought of seeing Seulgi both excites and scares you, the last time you had managed to have an actual conversation had been too long ago. and there are a number of things you wanted to say. Good job, congratulations, I am proud of you. You deserve this, no one deserves this more than you.

And they are all true, but instead when you finally see her, you ask “Is it everything you thought it would be?”

It’s a vague question that could have many meanings but she understands it of course. She remembers all the conversations you two had about this, about this dream, when your ambitions were still the same. 

“Not really.” Is her reply and you are confused, how is being in one of the most popular girl group is not all that. 

“How come?”

“I don’t know.” She avoids your eyes, fingers playing with the hem of her pink tennis skirt. You keep your eyes trained on the blonde hair she managed to make work. “I always thought you would be by my side when all this happened.” 

The cupboard feels somehow smaller than it did all those other times, making her feel as close to you as possible and your heart shatters again in million pieces. Again, there’s a lot of things you could have replied with, but this last year had shaped you into a person you’re not sure you know anymore.

“Well, it’s not my fault.” The words spill out of your mouth without you noticing and the regret is immediate when you see the flash of hurt that goes through her eyes.

She breathes out. “I Know that. I Know it’s not your fault. I’m just saying that in my mind things always played differently.” Her words are fast like she just wants them to get out already. “We would make plans and daydream about these moments together and now that I’m living them by myself I…I keep catching myself wondering if you are happy.”

You look down, your eyes stinging from tears that you don’t want to shed. “I am happy for you.” Is that enough, you think in the back of your head.

She’s looking at you now, sighing with a pained face and the stage outfit she has on is too out of place for this conversation. “That’s not what I mean.”

“Well, what do you want me to say? That I’ve been having the time of my life being a trainee while everyone else is living my dream?” Your worlds are fast and if the tears start falling you don’t notice. “That it’s the best feeling of the world being lied to many times and exhausting myself over nothing? That on top of all that I can’t even be with you?”

Her eyes close and you want to get out of this cupboard, feel your skin itching to escape. “Please, stop.” 

“I-”

She doesn’t let you talk. “I want you to do something about it.” 

“What can i do? I’m lost and I don’t even know if i want any of this anymore.” your voice is desperate, defeated like a cry from help. Why would you keep looking for a dream that wasn’t even yours in the first place, you just adopted it for convenience. A child too scared to be nothing.

She comes closer as if that was possible, and moves a strand of your hair out of your face. “You say i’m living my dream but this is not it. My dream was for both of us to make it.” The tears just come out of your eyes non stop as she whispers the words. “Even if it’s not together I still want you to make it… Ii want you to be happy because if you give up, then my dream is over.”

Her arms embrace your body and you almost laugh because it’s been over a year but her hug still feels like home to you, there’s still comforting and calming about being in her arms.

“Do you remember when we would stay until 1am practicing that girl’s generation song?” She mumbles against your hair, making you laugh amidst your tears.

“Yeah,” You mutter,” it took us a long time to get it right.”

She brings a thumb to wipe your face, a sad smile crossing her face. “And when I said I wanted to go home you asked me to stay beca-“

“Because it was only worth it if you were there with me.” You finish it for her but before she can reply there’s a knock on the door followed by a call of her name. They have to leave in 5 minutes.

“I think about that almost every time I’m on stage. How I want to see you there doing what we worked hard to get.” She says in a rush, “And I know it’ll happen. I’ll see you on that stage and we’ll be together. Like we are supposed to.”

You initiate the hug this time, muttering a thank you and telling her you couldn’t possibly love someone more in your entire life. There’s two minutes left and she uses it to press a kiss to your lips, quick but sweet. 

You both know that would be the last kiss you would share for a long time, but this time it doesn’t feel so much like a goodbye.

•

A month later your contract with SM entertainment expires and you leave without looking back. Two months later a new entertainment company scouts you and even if it’s smaller and a lot less known, you still feel good and excited like you haven’t feel in years.

The girls are nice and most of them don’t comment on the fact that you just left the biggest entertainment to be there. I’s pleasant even it the training is still exhausting and sometimes you still think about giving up, but you don’t.

A year later Red Velvet has a comeback, another success. You text seulgi for the first time in 10 months and it’s as short lived as you thought it would be but it still makes you feel happy to talk to her. 

13 months later you debut in a group with six other girls and it’s a small success. The song is good and the concept suits you but nothing beats the overwhelming feeling of getting to do the things you trained so long for. 

You knew you would end up seeing her one way or another, you just didn’t think it would be this fast. One moment you’re in the dressing room getting ready to perform live and the next your manager is telling you have to go say hi to the other groups that are performing to build relationships. On the way your group mates chatter on how excited they are to meet the boy groups and possibly getting their numbers, making you laugh alongside with them. 

Not a lot of things could’ve prepared for when your manager opens the door and Red Velvet stands there. Seulgi stands there, a hair roller on her bangs and her eyes go up when she realizes someone has entered the room. 

They all get up fast and it only takes a few moments for them to realize it’s you.

“____!” Seungkwan exclaims but you pay no mind to it. You can’t pay no mind to anything besides Seulgi’s eyes on yours. Your hands twitch, wishing you could go there and touch her, kiss her, anything.

In the back of your head you hear your manager introducing the group, the greeting coming natural to you and then your leader is handing them your album, which joohyun accepts with the promise of “taking good care of ____’s group.”

You hug all of them after that and when it finally gets to Seulgi it’s like a deep breath of relief is left out. Like a weight is out of your shoulders. “You made it.” She tells you simply, a blinding smile on her lips.

“Yes, I made it.” There’s years of shared dreams and experiences in those words and in the hug you two share. You feel like you could drown in this very moment. “We finally made it.”

It’s not exactly what you thought it would be when you would lay down on your bed and look at the annoyingly colorful “congrats on not giving up” card. It’s not what the two of you would talk about for hours while laying down on the cold practice room floor. 

But she’s here, and that’s enough.


End file.
